Friday, October 16, 2015

Writing is hard, so I decided to pretend I'm famous

I've been reading a lot of celebrity books lately. I mean, OBVIOUSLY I've read the books of my favorite imaginary-best-friend bloggers The Bloggess and Allie Brosh, but recently I started reading even more. It started with another blog-celeb, Brittney Gibbons, and the next thing I knew I was reading things by hollywood peeps like Mindy Kaling, Tina Fey, Amy Peohler, and most recently Felecia Day. And you know what? I loved every fucking minute of those books (I say minute rather than word because I most listen to audible because I'm busy and so I "read" while I commute. Don't judge). Even when I was yelling at them things like "you're not that awkward! look, you have 3 whole friends, asshole!" I was loving it. So I decided I had to write my own celebrity memoir.

There's only one small problem.

I'm not even close to a celebrity.


I mean, I've BEEN close to SEVERAL celebrities. I can even show you pictures. 

Look at me near Carrie Fischer!


See how I awkwardly cornered Brandon Sanderson!


Watch as I sweat in the vicinity of the guy who actually was sweating inside R2D2 !

(I really have met famous people who weren't in sci-fi/fantasy, I just don't care as much. I mean really. Have you even me me?). But all that is beside the point. I don't want to meet famous people (obvious lie) nor do I want to be famous (semi-truth) but I do want to feel like I have the same right as a famous person to write about my life an experiences as if somebody somewhere will give a shit. And mostly I just want to get myself to write again.

So if pretend I'm writing a memoir in disjointed chapters here on this blog that will trick you into reading it and thinking I'm cool like Felecia Day (no, I'm not) and maybe it'll trick me into thinking I'm successful like Tina Fey (really, really not even close, like, I think you feel sad for me now to have even made this joke). At the very least it will get me writing again. And sometimes maybe I'll even write soberly by the light of day. But given how my mental health has been lately, I'll take whatever I can get. 

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