Dog-tatchment parenting?

There are lots of different parenting philosophies out there. I'll name a few, but can respect elements from many. For example, attachement parenting is full of cosleeping and breastfeeding and baby wearing. There's also free range parenting, which is kind of the oposite. And there's every little thing in-between for parents to battle about: organic food, ferberizing, time outs, red food dye, cloth diapers, and on and on and on.

If you're on the internet it can drive you CRAZY trying to figure out what's right for you while also dealing with other parents' opinions. Especially since there can be a lot of accusations about which of these things will do more harm than good for your child. It can make a mama nuts. And since I'm already nuts, it can (and has) driven my brain to anxiety-riddled places where the Thought Monkey rules, with taunts of "you're a failure as a woman" and "your kids will grow up to hate you" and even "you might as well give up and die now." *shudder* It's not a good mind-space to be in.

Luckily now, more than 5 years since the day my daughter was born (via c-section, guilt-trip number 1! Oh, no, wait, I had an epidural. And delivered in a hospital. And I ate sushi while pregnant. Hmm, I guess I can't pin point the first place I "failed"...) I've been able to get a little more relaxed about my choices as a parent, maybe I've just run out of fucks to give about other parents' opinions of me, or more likely that they are just too conflicting and numerous for even the Thought Monkey to sift through. Also I don't go on parenting message boards anymore, and I take my sanity meds every day. In essence I've backed away from the mommy-wars...

...And right into the waiting arms of the doggy wars! I'll be the first to admit that I got my dog Bones partly because so many of my friends are having babies this spring and I'm not and I just wanted someone to cuddle who couldn't say "Mommy, your feet stink." But I wasn't really prepared for all the choices and the other dog parents out there. Organic food, electric fences, crating, training classes, and on and on. It's the same damn thing! (Only thank god nobody has suggested I breastfeed my dog until he's 2. I am drawing the line at 9 months. Just kidding. Ew, seriously. Not breastfeeding a dog. I don't even think that's a thing. And if it is I don't want to know about it.)

I'm just not as prepared for the dog-tatchment parents as I now am for the mommy warriors. I don't know the lingo and I'm scared to find out. What is the britax of the canine world? Are there cloth dog-poop-pickup bags? Do dogs even like being worn? Do people think rabies vaccinations with give Bones dog autism? Is there dog autism? Omg, are there dog psychiatrists? I totally bet that there are.

So I'm going to raise my dog like I raise my kids. To feel safe and loved at home, to get plenty of food and exercise. I'll hold my kid's hand and hold my dog's leash and hollar at either if they try to eat poop. Sounds good to me.


  1. If you stop the dog and the kid from eating poop, you're doing good. Those of us who haven't adopted an extreme parenting style need to take comfort in our small victories since our children are inevitably going to grow up emotionally scarred b/c we didn't nurse them up through their teens. :)

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