Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Out like a motherf***ing lion

Happy spring, y'all! Today is the first day of spring, or so they claim. Here in Minnesota we have a high of 20 degrees fahrenheit. That's the high. It's like 9 degrees right now. It snowed this week, and I suspect it'll snow again before the month is out.

In elementary school, when learning about the different months, we always heard that March was "in like a lion, out like a lamb". Whoever wrote that did not live in Minnesota. Maybe they lived in New York or Philadelphia or something. So fine, teach kids in New York all about the lion and the lamb. It's a nice little saying. Just like "April showers bring may flowers". In Minnesota it should be "April showers will freeze overnight and kill your flowers!"

Anyway! The worst part is that we always forget. The snow will get a little melty in March one day and we'll all break out the flip-flops and declare spring is here! Then it will snow another 4 inches and we'll all act surprised and hurt. It's like an abusive relationship. Every year March tells us it loves us promises to be our little lamb, but then BAM, it smacks us around with -5 degree windchill and we are shocked and hurt. It happens every year. It's a vicious cycle.

So don't teach Minnesota kids "in like a lion, out like a lamb", teach them "in like a lion out like a motherfucking lion!" Then we wouldn't have to act so wounded each "spring" and I could stop seeing things like this on Facebook:


5 comments:

  1. In Utah this year it is in like a lion out like a Lamb thus far, but my MN experience does not let me believe it will stay that way.

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  2. I replied to your comment on my blog, but if you're like me, half the time you forget that you left someone a comment and never go back to see if they replied.
    http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com I'm far too lazy to explain it all here, but basically you sign up on a list so that other people find your blog, and in the month of April you enter a blog 6 days a week, each one featuring a letter of the alphabet. It like the Dewey Decimal system of kick me in the seat of the pants blogging.

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    1. Awesome, thanks! I think I'll have to do that too. (I did remember about the comment, but I guess for some reason I thought it would email me if I got a response. :P )

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  3. Okay, that cartoon thing is hilarious. Here in TX, it's 50 one day then 80 the next. Which means that in April it's going to be 80 then 90, and by August it's going to be 100-120. How about you visit TX now, and I'll visit MN in August?

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    1. I'll visit Texas now, but trust me, you don't want MN in August. It's usually in the 90s and humid as some sort of evil sauna. The best time to be in MN is in September and October. The leaves are changing and the temperatures are moderate. Although maybe Texas is just fine in the fall too.

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